Traits and signs that your friend is a narcissist using you for supply and what true healthy friendships are supposed to be like 👭👫

Friendships are a major part of life, there’s so many different people out there and sometimes we met people we get on with and we will add them to our social network, we might share a coffee or become closer friends over time. Healthy friendships are organic and make us feel good. We can met new people at the park, at college or even down the gym.

Can everyone be trusted into our lifes…? absolutely not, not everyone is a ” friend ” especially men and woman who have narcissistic personality disorder, they can ruin your life. They can steal from you, lie to you even sleep with your partner with no remorse. Narcissists are so charming and a new exciting friend can be an amazing experience, this can soon turn dark. If you have experienced a narcissistic friend coming into your life as a charmer then they changed please tell us your experiences in the comment section. This will help readers learn about examples and help them out.

Signs that your friend is a narcissist

Over stepping the boundary of friendship and becoming too intimate with you and into your business as if they are your girlfriend or boyfriend! A healthy friend would know exactly what place they have in your life ” a real friend ” they wouldn’t try to be as close to you as a partner, a sister or relative but a narcissist would. The victim might just consider this a ” close friendship ” but you need to look at what your ” friend ” wants from you on a daily basis. A normal healthy person will have a partner, kids and family and maybe a few close trusted friends which are usually built up over many years and contain mutual respect and boundaries. Close friends are not your partners and have no right to be in your business or telling you what to do. A narcissist friend or god forbid a narcissist close friend has no respect for you underneath a charming exterior. They see you as a resource and will contact you probably on a daily basis if they can get away with it, often its about them and what they need done. Some people even realise that they are texting their ” narcissistic close friend ” more than they are texting their own wife or husband! This it totally wrong, sometimes they confide personal details of family and relationship issues to this so called ” friend ” the friend then uses this knowledge to weaponize it against the victim.

As soon as you stop contacting or replying or doing things for the ” narcissistic close friend ” they can change like the weather, its worth testing this out on a potential friend that you think may be have narcissism and see how they react. Its such a shame that these type of so called friends can actually keep a hold of people for years in a situation like this, they often pick out vulnerable and people with lots of empathy as they make the best victims. they test out victims first to see how far out they can push the boat.

What healthy friendships are supposed to be like offline and online :

A healthy friendship is built on trust, trust is not given its earned. Don’t trust any new friend so easily. Healthy friends observe boundaries, treat you respectfully and talk and text you at normal intervals, a healthy friend would never text you every single day and know ALL your business and basically be like a surrogate partner, this is the role a partner fulfils. Healthy friends don’t expect you to tell them goodnight every night as if you are in a relationship with them but ” narcissistic friends” do, they want attention 24/7 from you and don’t care if you have a partner who’s worried about the amount of contact and information exchanged between you and this so called friend. they will demand your time and energy that you should give to your family, work or partner… they feel entitled to your energy and have no embarrassment asking for favours such as making you cut the grass or paint and decorate their house, or even run them to appointments.

You will often find yourself giving them time energy and attention that should be exclusive to a partner or even just your own family, they will reach out at all hours via text. If your single they might even flirt with you to get what they want and you might think you have a girlfriend or boyfriend in the waiting but they will never come across and continue to take take take.

For example a lovely girl I used to know fell victim to a ” narcissistic friend ” she was so nice, friendly and full of empathy… perfect victim for a narcissist to sniff out. She had joined the local gym to lose some weight and had taken to swimming. Quickly she made friend’s with some regulars and had some general chit chat about fitness etc. She got talking to a nice young lad about her own age in the swimming area, he was always there for a few weeks when she came in. They struck up a friendship and he asked to add her to Facebook. She started getting a lot of ” hey how are you today ” on messenger, asking if she was hitting the swimming baths. He messaged one day asking if she could pick him up in her car on the way to the centre as his house was in the route, she said yes as she thought he maybe liked her and was using excuses to get close to her. She thought maybe he fancied her and so it became routine that every time she hit the gym/swimming she would pick him up as well, why not they were friends. He was always chatty and charming. She dropped him off and picked him up and saw nothing wrong with it. Soon his demands over Facebook started to escalate, bear in mind he is not in a relationship with this girl, she doesn’t owe him anything. He was simply seeing how much he could get out of her. He asked if she could pick him up from town one day as he was stranded. He messaged her on fb as if he was her boyfriend, late at night etc. She was wondering if he was going to get round to asking her out. he asked her if she could come round and help him paint a fence as it was a nice day and he wanted to spend time with her… you see narcissists sugar coat things to make it look like they care for you. Of course she went round and helped out. When she was there he informed her he had a doctor appointment and if she could run him there.

She didn’t click on at all that he was a narcissist using her as supply, he was charming on Facebook, kept her good company at the swimming baths and always messaged her on Facebook. She was single and a bit lonely and it was good to have a new friend. She didn’t notice she was always doing things for him and a healthy friend would never ask too much like this. He eventually asked to borrow her dads lawn mower as his had broken down and of course she had to drop it off in the car, he offered no money to her or a crate of bear to the dad in return for the favour.

Eventually the girl got a boyfriend who she was spending lots of time with and this boyfriend made her see complete sense about this so called ” friendship ” he noticed her phone kept pinging at different times and asked who it was, she told her boyfriend she had a friend she would pick up and drop off at the gym and that he was talking to her on messenger every single day. Her boyfriend was obviously having none of it, he asked what they guy ever did for her and sadly she had no answer.. nothing apart from message her on Facebook then rest of time she would do things for him. She deleted him on request from her boyfriend and then down at the gym saw him get into another woman’s car !!